But for now let's go back to the race.
Georgie joined me on a lap of the 11.6 mile bike course, I then did a few more laps just to keep the legs turning over. A few laps of the run course every morning before breakfast was very pleasant.
Wednesday Vicki arrived, the third member of my four strong support crew and we started reviewing and confirming the nutrition/ hydration strategy.
Swim (7.2 miles - 42 laps)
Hydration plus half banana every 8 laps
T1
Steady walk, change.
Porridge, coffee.
Bike (336 miles - 29 laps x 11.6 miles)
every 2 laps replace hydration bottles & every 4 laps stop for 20 mins food (pasta/ rice pudding, etc)
T2
Shower/ change
Run
Small amounts of quality food every few laps (two/ three mouthfuls), rather than cake/ sweets i did on the double
Regarding sleep, my plan was simply keep going until I got tired, this proved to be a huge mistake, one that would make me suffer greatly during the race. In hindsight I was over confident, I'd raced the double 2 years earlier and finished well, 8th actually (European Double Iron distance Championships) and gone sub-30 hours which is seen as the holy grail at the AT Double. I simply thought my strategy would work for the Triple, I made a monumental error in not researching blogs of previous Triple competitors (as I had with the Double) if I had done so I would have followed others plans with a sleep strategy, I found out after the event that many competitors were talking 20 minute bursts of sleep every few hours, I didn't sleep until I had been racing 24 hours, this was far too late for me, and I would suffer greatly for the remainder of the race.
Andy my fourth and final crew member came straight from work Thursday night, a long drive, also arriving was Matt, who had ridden 407km to "pop" down for the start of the race, great to see them both, we all sat down for a great evening meal, good conversation then early to bed.
Race day came, registration, bike rack (both road & TT), race briefing all came & went without much time to think. Before I knew it, it was time to get down to the lake for the start. I had no nerves at all, felt confident & ready, it was great to have so many friends and some banter.
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| Georgie, Vicki, me, Sarah, Andy - Team Gorilla |
No sooner had I entered the water and the horn went for the start, I casually slipped into the water and eased away to the first buoy. The swim went well, I felt strong, i knew I was up at the front from comments from marshalls as I passed through lap control. I was in 3rd/4th position. I've been really enjoying my swim training and getting some good long swims in, so was confident of a total swim time around three & half hours. I'd never swum this far though and the last mile & half were really hard, I was struggling to lift my arms clear of the water, lap times were not massively down but it was hurting. To hear the lap counters say last lap was an absolute joy, and I tried to keep my technique all the way to swim exit. I stood up and felt strong, none of the wobbles and dizziness I had two years ago in the double swim, quite impressed actually.A steady walk up the hill to T1 to dry, change & eat before setting off on the 336 mile bike, which I expected to take around 24 hours. I started the bike in 4th place (from 18 Triple starters).
29 laps of 11.6 miles on an undulating route through the New Forest, I had opted for my road bike as thats what I had trained most on, I was riding strong, too fast actually, I knew I needed to slow down but thats easier said than done when you feel good.
I began to make another mistake, I had moved up to 3rd place and was now thinking podium, what an idiot! there was so far to go yet, I should have backed off here but didn't, I felt great, felt strong in body & mind, but I was soon to find out the lack of sleep would soon start messing with my head, a situation I just hadn't planned for.
The laps and the hours ticked by, I had ridden through the night, the nutrition & fluid strategy was working well, as I came in for food later that morning at around 200 miles (I sat down & must have looked knackered, the medic came over and asked when I last slept, I hadn't, he gave that "what an idiot" look and ordered me to bed for an hour, I wasn't going to argue, I couldn't wait, instead of sleeping in the crew tent on course, we went the 50 metres to the cabin, a good hour in a proper bed would be great, must admit it felt very strange sleeping during a race, but thats what I did.
An hour later Sarah woke me up, jeez, I felt bad, really bad, "I need another hour Sarah" and went back to sleep.
When I awoke again after two hours sleep, my head was all wrong, I couldn't get the thought through my head that I'd still got 100+ miles to ride and then run 3 marathons, my head had totally gone, I couldn't do it. I sat with Sarah & Georgie in the lounge and burst into tears, "I'm sorry I've let you down, I can't do it, it's too far", lots more tears from everyone.
Georgie tearfully said "I was really looking forward to running a lap or two with you Dad" that really tugged at my heart, more tears. Sarah said "come on, do one more lap, if you're going to quit, quit on the bike not on the sofa". I know how much it must have hurt Sarah to send me back out in that state but it's what she needed to do, so I out I went. I felt terrible, one more lap, I'd give it a go.
Apparently there was great apprehension as to what my decision would be when I came back after that lap, I came in, took more water and went straight back out again, I was back, knocking off the laps, I'd only lost a few places and was riding well again. The laps ticked by but darkness was looming again, a second night in the saddle, jeez, this is tough, far tougher than i had ever imagined.
I can't really remember the last few laps, they seemed to take forever, the last few times climbing up Braggers Lane Hill were tough, its not difficult climb, about a mile long, averaging only 4% but with a 8% gradient half way up, after 29 times it begins to get a little tiring, but this was the last time, downhill at the top into the event centre. I planned to run one lap straight off the bike and then get some rest (again on medical advice). I wanted that one lap for one reason & one reason only, to make Georgie's dream come true and run a lap of Enduroman with me, Sarah had it authorised by race control, I got a bit emotional on that lap with Georgie, I really didn't think I'd get here a few hours earlier. The run lap is off road, all down hill from the circle, wet & muddy around the lake, then a long drag & two steep hills on the way back to the circle, with tree stumps, tree roots, puddles & bog everywhere, not an easy run at all.Back into the circle, Georgie with a big smile on her face, me thinking "I need sleep".
I needed rest, we agreed to I'd sleep till sun rise, the course was difficult as it was in day light but at night it was awful & my head just wasn't in the right place, I went to sleep that night, knowing I wouldn't finish the run, but that I'd wake up, hopefully a little refreshed and at least get a few laps in on the last day of the festival, soak in the atmosphere and all that.
There were 7 events on in total that weekend, Triple, Double, Single, Half and three runs 50 mile, 100 mile & 24 hour run till you drop!. All events start at different times so that they all finish on the Sunday, a great atmosphere around the course.
I awoke at 5am, it had been light for an hour, it didn't really phase me as I was still in the "just go and run for a bit" mind set, I knew I couldn't finish, who the hell would want to run THREE marathons after all that !!!
So breakfast, changed and at 5:38am Sunday I started my second run lap.
I kept running, it was a lovely morning, there were loads of runners out on the course, I had now dropped to 12th place and someway off 11th, I was the last triple athlete on course, six had dropped out, I kept going, enjoying the atmosphere and chatting to other endurance athletes as we ran down hill & walked up hill, a proven technique for athletes on this tough course.
10k turned into a half marathon, the half marathon turned into a marathon, "cool" I thought, and carried on for the next half marathon, sticking to nutrition & fluid strategy, I was actually quite enjoying it. During mile 26 to 39, the sun came out, it was heating up, I ran with a buff over my head that my crew drenched in water each lap, jeez, it was getting hot.
At 39 miles, half way on the run, I remember thinking wow, didn't think I'd get this far, but I made another mistake here, instead of just carrying on enjoying running the next 10k, not thinking of whats left to do, I started lap counting, 36 laps (39 miles) to go, big mistake. One lap after the next I kept going but the laps remaining just didn't seem to come down quickly enough 35, 34, 33 ....... this was getting depressing, in hindsight I guess this was a turning point from just going for a "fun" run to actually thinking I've got to finish this now.
Dusk was coming for the third time during the race, I had 20 miles to go, my feet were now in bits and a huge blister on my right foot was causing intense pain on every step, my head was all over the place, I was descending into a very dark and desolate place, and descending quickly.
For the last few laps I hadn't stopped at the circle to eat/ drink with my support crew, I had continued straight through and met my crew half way up the hill, where I would walk and take on food/ hydration while walking in order to save time. We already knew it would be difficult to meet the official IUTA cut off at 2pm due to the late start that morning but this is Enduroman, and the Enduroman family want you to succeed so the IUTA cut off became irrelevant, this was about finishing, whatever it took.
A few laps later I was approached by a marshall who told me I couldn't stop at my crew station anymore, else I would miss the cut off, this just threw my head all over the place to be honest, what the hell was he trying to do, I wasn't stopping, I had been racing for over 50 hours, I was a mess, my head was all over he place, and this guy is telling me I can't stop when I wasn't stopping anyway, but for the next lap I just couldn't get this out of my head, it tumbled round and round, frustrating me more & more, if I'm going to get stopped with a few laps to go, I might as well bloody stop now and save the agony & pain I thought.
I remember Georgie meeting me at the top of the hill before the short descent to the circle, I had totally lost the will to continue, the pain was unbearable, the thought of carrying on for another 20 miles was blowing my mind, especially if there was a chance I could be stopped a few miles short.
I asked Georgie to get Sarah, I needed to talk to her, I needed someone to say, yes its ok to stop, something we had discussed earlier, when I went back out on the bike, we'd agreed next time I wanted to quit, I could, that would be it, this was that time, I just needed that "yes, stop".
Sarah passed me some soup, I couldn't eat it, we walked up the hill away from the circle, and started the descent through the woods to the lake.
PB: "I can't go on Sarah, I've had enough"
SB: "you're so close sweetheart, you can't stop now"
PB: "I can stop, I want to stop, my feet hurt, I hurt, I can't do it"
SB: "you can do it sweetheart, you can, you are so so close"
PB: "I can't do it, you promised me I could quit, you're not supporting me" <shouting>
SB: "I haven't come all this way to see you quit now, you can do it" <shouting>
With that I threw the soup past Sarah and walked off down the hill crying, Sarah shouted "do what you like" and returned to the circle crying. What a mess!
For some reason I carried on walking the run route, thinking, crying, thinking, I was hurting, I was in total despair.
As I turned at the top of the hill for the descent into the circle again, I saw the outline of two ominous shadows through the gateway to the circle, I knew I was going to get a right grilling now. As I entered the circle I was flanked by TC & the Rev, two Enduroman icons.
The Rev pushed a pot noodle into my hands, I said I couldn't eat anymore, he shouted "EAT IT", I didn't argue! TC & Rev walked with me round the circle and out on another loop, I hadn't seen Sarah in the circle (I later found out she was in tears at the medics tent, it must have been so difficult for her to see me break like that in front of her but to have to be so strong to stand up to me and send me back out, I am a very lucky guy, although must admit I didn't think so at the time, I was just willing someone, anyone to agree with me and let me stop, but this was never going to happen)
TC went off to get some of his Hoka trainers that are double the cushioning of normal trainers to help ease the pain on my feet for the next lap. The Rev just talked to me, I wanted to quit but everything I threw at him, he sent back twice as hard, I just couldn't win. He kept repeating that only 30 Brits had completed this event, one of the toughest amateur events in the World, the Triple Enduroman at Avon Tyrell, did I really want to give up with less than 20 miles to go?
I could see his point, but the pain seemed unbearable, then he asked the killer question "What's the level of pain 1 -10", this made me think, I thought about this for a few more seconds, arghhhh, it hurt, it hurt a lot, but it wasn't a bloody 10 was it, I grew angry with myself, then embarrassed, I said 8, it's a bloody 8 out of 10, knowing that I had now had no option but to continue.
We carried on walking and talking that lap, the pain in my feet was still intense, but I knew I had to finish, however long it took, I had to keep going, there were still plenty of other athletes out on the course but it was growing dark again now.
For the next few laps someone ran/ walked with me every lap, which helped, I can't say it was fast, or even moderately medium paced running, but I kept going, talking to my company, my crew and friends (Steve & Josh from my Team GB Quadrathlon days) had also turned up a few hours earlier to see me over the line.
Josh must have run a half marathon with me in the end, I started to forget about laps remaining and just got into a slow and painful rhythm. We were well into single digits now, it felt like there was only me out there but occasionally I saw the lights of other runners.
The last couple of Triple athletes had finished, although they had chosen to run the last lap in the same direction as previous laps to avoid any directional mishaps after 60 hours of racing. In Enduroman at AT, the last lap is usually run in reverse so that other athletes can see you have finished and congratulate you, as I came in to complete my penultimate lap, the race organiser asked me to continue in the normal direction, I said I wanted to run in reverse, I knew the course 'backwards' so to speak, I wanted that reverse lap feeling, I wanted to run down the last hill with Georgie & Sarah at my side & over the line. Eddie agreed and allowed me to run the last lap in reverse as normal, there were still a couple of 100 mile runners out there that had shared my pain over the last few hours, a couple of hugs as we passed and I was on my way back up the hill, nearly there.
Josh ran ahead to let everyone know I was coming, I saw Georgie in the distance, running towards me, it was simply amazing & very emotional, Georgie turned and held my hand, running down the hill with me, Sarah running up to join us. Those last few metres certainly weren't pretty, they weren't fast, but it was over and I was running over the line with the two most important people in my life, Sarah & Georgie both beat me to the line I think, difficult to remember.
Sadly, I didn't feel any elation at all crossing the line, and to be honest even now, I haven't had that WOW feeling that I had completing the Double, I'm sure it will come at some point, maybe?.
Eddie presented me with my medal & t-shirt, amazingly I had enough about me to thank everyone who had remained awake into the early hours to help me complete this challenge, it totally broke me. Within seconds of finishing, my legs seized up, Sarah & Andy supported me for the short walk up to our cabin, I vowed then that this was the end of my long & ultra days, I couldn't put my body or mind through anything like that again, I was a complete and utter mess.
I woke the next morning, aching like you can not believe, I was pleased that I'd finished but it would not have been possible without so many people Sarah, Georgie, Andy, Vicki, Matt, TC, the Rev, Steve, Josh, Sally, Eddie, Chris, Dan and many more ultra athletes. The Avon Tyrell course is simply brutal and unrelenting, I had completed one of the toughest amateur races in the World, and was one of only 30 Brits to complete it, that felt pretty special actually, still no elation but pretty special.
One thing that did make me feel proud was that one week before the race, Sarah & I had decided to raise money for a charity, something I had never done in any race over the last 9 years of competing.
My father had died from cancer earlier in the year, only a few weeks before the race I had been introduced to Ethan Maull, a 10 year old fighting bone cancer, who was raising money & inspiring others to raise money for the Ethan Maull "Up Yours To Cancer" foundation. Unfortunately Ethan passed away shortly after we met so we decided to support his cause and raise money for the foundation, although the just giving site www.justgiving.com/philbinch was only set up one week before the event, we have raised over £1,200 for the charity, something for which I am extremely proud and if I'm honest certainly helped me keep going through those dark moments.
Normally this would be the end of the write up, however what followed proved to be just as or dare I say more challenging than the race itself.
That week I had a few days off work to recover, severe diarrhoea became the norm for the next week but this slowly lessened and my body returned to normal, but just over a week after completing the Triple I developed flu like symptoms, I felt dizzy, shivers, sweats, high temperature and generally very unwell.
I took a few days off work thinking, wow that race has really messed me up. I became more and more lethargic, I couldn't eat, soup was the best I could manage, this went on for a few days, Sarah ringing NHS direct and seeing GP out of hours medical at the hospital initially put it down to a glandular virus that I would just have to sit out, then a liver infection was diagnosed and antibiotics were prescribed.
Sarah went to work that Thursday, I became worse, I just didn't have the energy to move from the settee for food or water, I finally found the strength to move as I needed the toilet. I remember walking away from the toilet feeling a little dizzy, the next thing I remembered was waking up on the hard floor of our hallway, my arm, side & head hurting where I'd fallen. I was really very worried now, I knew I'd fainted but didn't know how long I'd been out, I made it up and to the kitchen, for the next few hours I forced myself to drink as much water & soup as I could.
That night, I had a huge shivering fit, I was sweating like mad, but shivering that severely the bed was shaking, my breathing started to hurry, I was panicking, it must have taken Sarah 30 minutes to calm me down. This was getting worse, what the hell is the matter with me.
That morning (Friday) I couldn't get myself out of bed, every time I tried to lift myself I got incredible pain in my knees, the pain was so intense I just couldn't push through it to lift myself, in the end I had to gently turn on to all fours and slowly back off the bed with Sarah supporting me. It just gets worse!
At 2pm, Sarah & my mum (who had come over to help as she was worried) noticed that the whites of my eyes were turning yellow, as the afternoon progressed my skin turned yellow, something was really wrong.
Sarah rang NHS direct for the third time, "get him into A&E quickly" was the reply. Within 20 minutes of arriving at A&E I was in a bed and having my blood taken, they must have filled seven different test tubes, I guessed for several different tests to see what was the matter with me, I also had a chest X-ray, think they were looking at my lungs.
Within minutes I was in the Clinical Decision Unit with an IV placed in my arm. For the next 3 days I had fluid and antibiotics pumped into my veins. The pumped rate seemed to lessen as the days progressed but it appeared to be quite an aggressive rate at first.
That morning (Saturday), feeling a little better, I was moved to the gastro ward, the doctor came over and went through the results of my blood tests, I'm no medic and the blood markers he talked about meant very little to me, all I knew was that mine were significantly out of the normal range, one thing I do remember him saying was some numbers to do with efficiency of my kidneys, basically it meant they were only able to deal with 40% of the toxins in my body, my organs were deteriorating, toxins were building up in my body and worsening my state, I knew I was in trouble now and to be honest it really scared me.
I still couldn't eat but had been told I must drink water to help my body pass the toxins, this meant I was peeing every hour sometimes twice in the hour, both day & night, it was so tiring.
Early on the sunday morning I found out that another competitor from AT (someone who I had met for the first time down there and had done the half enduroman was also ill with similar symptoms) It was 4am & I noticed she was on Facebook so I messaged her, we discussed each others sypmtoms for a while, it was then I realised my illness was not as a result of putting my body through the Triple, this was something else, a virus, a disease. I spent the next hour researching on my phone, I'd heard of Weil's disease before but knew very little about it, the more I read the more adamant I became that this was the problem.
I made some notes and spoke to the Doctor that morning on his rounds, explaining I had found someone else with similar symptoms and that I believed it could be Weil's disease or something similar. The Doctor said he knew very little about this disease but it was a good information and he would look into it immediately.
The medical bit ...
Weil's disease is a secondary phase of a form of a bacterial infection also known as Leptospirosis. Leptospirosis can infect almost any animal, but is most commonly found in rats and cattle, and is most commonly passed to humans through water contaminated by their urine.
Symptoms can occur between 3 and 21 days from the time of infection. There can be two distinct phases of leptospirosis.
The first phase
- symptoms are similar to those of the flu, including high fever, severe headaches, chills, muscle aches, and vomiting, and may also include a rash.
- it may last between 3 to 5 days before recovery.
- in mild cases the patient will recover after just the first phase but they can suffer fatigue and depression for some time afterwards.
The second phase
- initial symptoms will reoccur
- further symptoms can very according to severity and may include jaundice (yellow skin & eyes), red eyes, abdominal pain and diarrhoea.
- symptoms can be similar to those of meningitis.
- severe cases can also cause the failure of kidneys or liver.
- death can occur due to heart, liver or respiratory failure.
The next few days all blend into one, I continued on IV, I slept, I drank water, I went to the toilet, thats about all I did. My phone and Facebook became a much needed distraction. The support from family & friends was incredible, only allowed two visitors around my bed in the limited visiting hours, I would have four or five, with a record nine one evening, the banter was a blessing, even if it was at my expenses, I didn't mind.
Soon it was confirmed that my friend had been infected and was ill with Leptospirosis, which had developed into Weil's disease. My Doctors suspected the same but they were still waiting for my test results to confirm this, the meds however were working, I was feeling that little bit better every day.
Next the whole saga went international, I was contacted by the President of the IUTA (International Ultra Triathlon Association) another athlete in Germany who had done the Triple was ill with suspected Leptospirosis, I shared all the info I could and passed on my Doctors contact details so they could share what actions they had taken with myself.
After 3 days of IV, I was really tired, sleep was difficult on the ward, it was tiring visiting the toilet every hour or more. My IV was due to be replaced, so I asked if I could have it out for a few hours so that I could have a little freedom, dragging an IV stand around had become a pain in the arse, I was thankful for it, don't get me wrong, it had got me out of what could have been a severe organ failure. When the Doctor came round he noticed I had no IV and questioned it, I said what was happening and he asked me if I was able to take oral meds, to which I replied yes, we discussed this further as it would mean I would be able to finish meds away from hospital when he thought I was fit enough to leave, this I liked. I had been eating much better for the last day, and actually was now looking forward to food.
We swapped to oral antibiotics, the IV drip was no more ............ fantastic. I was allowed to take responsibility for my meds myself when they arrived.
The Spanish nurse explained that I take one antibiotic tablet today and the next in 10 days ........... what? this really puzzled me, I'd been on an IV drip for 3 days, pumping strong antibiotics into my veins and now I only needed 1 tablet for 10 days, that all sounded wrong so I challenged it. Blooming good job, he had read the report incorrectly, I should take 3 per day for 10 days !!!
That evening I took my meds at 9pm as instructed, one antibiotic and one potassium tablet, at 10pm a nurse came round, placed my meds in front of me and asked me to take them. I've already taken them I said and don't need anymore till tomorrow morning, I got "a look", she then proceeded to tell me that my folder hadn't been updated to say that, I wasn't sure why that was my fault to be honest, anyway I said, "I've taken them and no more till tomorrow", she then challenged me about my water in/ out chart which was a mess and difficult to understand (the doctors needed to see how my water intake compared to output) I had been having to pee in bottles and the nurses were measuring and recording the amounts, no idea how they knew how much I was drinking but thats another story, anyway apparently that was my fault to ....... err, correction, no it wasn't, in fact I told her I'd got that fed up with not knowing my in/ out levels so I'd started my own tracking, writing on a tissue to make sure I was drinking enough.
She looked at me and then realised I wasn't a complete idiot "would it help if you had a proper sheet and measuring jug to do it properly", "absolutely" I said & with that I was in control of my own water in/ out chart, peeing in a measuring jug and then flushing it straight down the toilet, which was much better than wandering around with pee bottles trying to find someone to measure it or stacking them up at my bedside. I was much happier.
I spent five days in hospital in total, the last day and half were a bit of a drag but I understood that I needed to be there, my bloods were coming back to normal but still not quite right.
As soon as the Doctor said I could go that Wednesday lunch, I was packed & waiting for the discharge papers, meds and sick note, fair play to everyone, they made it all happen really quickly for me and within the hour I was out breathing fresh air & waiting for Sarah to pick me up.
We went for a walk with the dog that night around the village, well half the village actually, only about a mile, I was knackered at the end. I weighed myself that night, prior to the race I had consistently been 13 stone 2 pounds, and always struggled to get any lower. I was shocked to see 11 stone 13 pounds on the scales, jeez, I'd lost over a stone, I was super skinny and desperate to put some weight on.
Next steps for me, well, I need to finish my antibiotic course off, another 7 days, I honestly have no desire at all to return to open water swimming, I've read contradictory reports about whether I'm more or less susceptible to Weil's disease now, so decided I'm just not prepared to risk it, I just can't put my body through that again, its a real shame as I've absolutely loved my swimming this year, but it has to be, I certainly don't want to put people off open water swimming, at the end of the day the risks have always been there, there are no UK waterways that can guarantee to be disease free, I would however urge anyone who develops signs of flu up to 30 days after open water swimming to seek medical advice and explain the risks associated with open water swimming to their doctor so that a full assessment can be made to avoid any complications.
So a big re-think for me on plans going forward, my body is still incredibly weak, its going to take some months to recover, I've cancelled all remaining races this year and we are going to have a great family holiday in the sun with friends, I have plenty of time to think about the future and what that might entail, its really quite exciting, a whole new word of challenges ... maybe !
I'm also signing off this blog, its been a great help to motivate me and reflect on what I've done, but its time is done, I hope those of you that have read my posts have found some inspiration or ideas to help you going forward.
All the best for the future
Phil
Triple Enduroman Avon Tyrell finisher
Double Enduroman (sub 30 Avon Tyrell)
Ironman Austria, UK & Outlaw
National Quadrathlon Series Over 40 Trophy winner
GB Triathlon age group Sprint & Standard distance team
Lincoln Triathlon & Southwell Triathlon age group winner,
GB Quadrathlon team
Run the Date
